Pregnancy hormones keep plenty busy over 9 months, responsible for things like headaches, skin issues, and uncontrollable mood swings. Those symptoms were expected, but I made a huge mistake in underestimating their sorcery and ability to hijack my dreams.
A lot of books mention “sexy” dreams as a common occurrence. There’s been nothing “sexy” about my pregnancy dreams, and the only time I woke up sweaty and out of breath was when I just witnessed the father of my child cheating on me (in the dream!).
Although Cristiano Ronaldo made a cameo in one of my hormone-fueled dreams, it was NOT “sexy” by any means. It was wildly confusing. He was my boating instructor.
It’s unclear if I was a bad student, or he was a bad teacher, but we wound up running over multiple small boats with the yacht that was clearly too much for me to handle. Neither of us were phased, and at the end of my lesson, he had something for me. A calculator device that was meant to help me decipher the best times to invest in Gatorade stocks.
I haven’t been on a boat since before I found out I was expecting. I also never invested in any stocks.
My lovey paid for this one in the morning.
Not only did he cheat on me, he cheated on me IN FRONT OF ME and my bump. He showed no remorse and the female followed me on Instagram shortly after the interaction.
My reaction? I every so calmly broke a mirror and gave him what looked like a paper cut across his stomach.
I refused to talk to him the following morning until he made me a cup of decaf. Once I searched his REAL life followers on social media, the phantom home wrecker’s Insta-handle still fresh in my mind, and came up empty handed, I was ready to get on with my day.
The Tear Jerker
I truly thank the hormones for this one, it’s the only time I’d be able to see my baby and Pop Pop together.
My mom had been holding onto a video monitor that hadn’t been used in “13” years, and wanted to use it for the new baby. Once we focused the monitor on my new babe, we saw my Pop Pop there with him, laughing and dancing.
Simple, and so comforting. I woke up in tears. We lost my Pop Pop when I was 8 and I know he’s been with us since. This dream helped put a lot of my pregnancy-related anxieties to rest, knowing he would still be watching over us during this new chapter.
What are some of the craziest pregnancy dreams you’ve had? Share in the comments!